Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
