i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
