I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am one with the molecules
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
