went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
