TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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