I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
