DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
