Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
