Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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