You're so nebulous sometimes
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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