Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
