You really coming over, don't trick.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
