oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
