I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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