There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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