No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
no, he came in my armpit
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How external is "for external use only"?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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