i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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