My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
