i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
