is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
