You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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