i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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