Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What drink are we having for lunch?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
