OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So much rum. So many feels.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
