my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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