problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its not stalking. its research.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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