It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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