new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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