I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
