if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
