we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am in a vortex of obligation.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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