i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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