The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
