"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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