The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
