Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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