Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Houston, we have a blender
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
