I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
