Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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