i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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