I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
