ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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