I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
