Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i out mim tonsoeep
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