Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
