he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
