Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
