It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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