I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
