Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
