You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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