The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shame - the story of my life.
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