no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
