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I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
