East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Farmville is her only friend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
BRING THE BAGELS
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
