2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
