is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
